July 9, 2009

Oh lordy - I have become an ebayer

Like 15 million other Brits I’ve been buying and selling things on ebay just recently. Have you noticed that you can literally buy anything? But ebay does seem to be a portal into a strange surreal world.

Allegedly you can sell anything and anyone can make money. The BBC once memorably established that you can even sell a bit of old rope on ebay. They took some flotsam off the beach, put it up on ebay and yes indeed it sold. But of course they omitted to carriage to make a good story pay.

Why would somebody buy old rope? Well he needed to ties down the tarpaulin over his classic car – and by not having to pay carriage it was indeed a bargain.

I of course have not been doing nearly so well. Yes my stuff has been selling – but not for much. Often I make more on the postage than the item. And the commission taken on sales is conveniently easily forgotten as it disappears weeks after the event.

And then there is the commission taken by Paypal. And the time taken to get your hands on your own money. Ebay all adds up to a relentless money-making machine – for ebay.

But I have also been buying loads of things on ebay. Live fish to be precise. And not just any fish – koi carp which can be quite large. And glory be – they turn up in the back of a white van just as quickly as a book or dvd from amazon.

SO if large fish are yo-yoing around the country in vans what else can you buy over the net and have shipped overnight? Poisonous spiders? Apparently so. Terrapins? No problem. Snakes which can grow up to be maneaters? How many would you like madam?

So next time you find yourself stuck in a motorway hold up, spare a thought for the passengers overheating in the back of that white van. They could be left high and dry if they are fish. Or adding a painful new dimension to road rage if they are tarantulas.

Oh lordy - I have become an ebayer

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