July 15, 2009

Sporting Etiquette

I see that crusty old golfing curmudgeon Colin Montgomerie is in a strop (again) because he has been accused of cheating by another grumpy golfing Scot. Mind you – who can blame him, golf is one of the few, if not the only sport I can think of where honesty is de rigueur.

Think about it. The phrase ‘it simply is not cricket’ is decades out of date – cheating is mandatory – even if the Aussies are still sore about being cheated out of a win last week

Football? Well everybody cheats at that. And not just the sly shirt pulling and diving seen in the Premier League. I was encouraged to cheat in my junior league games when at Primary School. Cheating is so endemic that holding, pushing and shoving are considered part of the game. Spitting seems to be frowned upon – and diving is definitely dirty, foreign cheating (unless out brave British chaps do it). But almost anything else goes.

Rugby is much the same. You’re supposed to be mates after the game – but anything and preferably sly and violent is accepted. Even a bit of eye gouging apparently, if you are a psychopathic South African.

I could go on. The Tour de France is on at the moment – it’s even on television for those that like sweaty bent double in Lycra. But the event is so drug-fuelled that you wonder why they bother.

It’s much the same with the Olympics. We marvel at supreme athletic ability (often in a sport we didn’t know existed). And then act surprised when we find out that somebody so driven that they spend their entire lives running, sitting in a boat, on a bike etc. has taken advantage of some pharmaceutical assistance. Again the cynical amongst us believe the ones who are not caught have simply got a better doping regime.

Horse racing? Ho Ho… even the queen’s trainer was caught out last week. And few if any believe that jockeys try and win every race they are in.

Yeah, OK, sports which are not sports like snooker and darts seem relatively clean. But I can’t think of any proper sport where cheating is so frowned upon as golf.

The Open starts later this week at Turnberry. That is where the almost mythical duel in the sun happened 30 years ago. There is an image indelibly burned in my mind of Jack Nicklaus and his eventual nemesis, Tom Watson walked arm in arm up the fairway in a sort of gladiatorial embrace. Two outstanding sportsmen at the very top of their games giving it all they had got.

Golf might be a good walk spoiled – but at least golfers know how to behave!