January 11, 2010

Blunt Advice

I was flicking channels over the weekend when I came across the very first episode of Sharpe. This proved to be a bit of a find on a number of counts. Not only had I never seen it before, so it filled in two hours of another snow-bound day rather well – but it introduced me to all the characters that I have seen off and on for over a decade.

For those of you not overly familiar with Sharpe – he’s a bit of rough that Wellington promoted from the ranks to be an officer. And it proved to be quite a hit for ITV because Sean Bean proved to be just as attractive to women as he did to blokes. And year after year the Sharpe novels were brought to life with not exactly a cat of thousands – until virtually every one was killed off at the Battle of Waterloo.

Which proved to be a bit of a mistake – as there were so few characters left for the inevitable sequel.

But I digress. In the highly entertaining first episode, there was some entirely sound advice from an American officer. For officers, especially young officers, being in an episode with Sharpe proved to be as healthy as beaming down to a planet with Captain Kirk if you were not one of the main characters.

So it was with some amusement and trepidation that I heard a young impressionable officer advised to stay away from Sharpe. With the gift of hindsight I knew this to be very good advice – because over the years just about every man in Sharpe’s regiment would die a very painful death.

And so it proved with this young lad who soon had a bayonet run through his entrails. It’s a pity that a few more young officers hadn’t seen this first episode – because they would continue to drop like flies for years.

Even in real life it seems good advice to stay away from Sharpe. For some reason, Sean Bean was put on the board at Sheffield United. Presumably because he could do so much on a small budget. Alas, when Sheffield United were relegated, the Blade’s manager found Sean Bean to be a bit more vocal than Mr Bean…. And can now be found plying his trade at Crystal Palace.